Be united in the way you raise your children. This is a hard task whether or not parents are together. Usually parents have similar values, especially if they were married- it is part of what draws them together. Lay out those values and how they are the same, or different in each household. Determine who get decision-making rights in regards to overall health and safety, and from there find areas where there may be differences and discuss them before the issues come up, if possible. Use a mediator to find a compromise both parents can agree on that best serves the needs of the children. Decide how important any one decision is in the long-run and let it go if you determine it isn’t jeopardizing safety. If it is dangerous or abusive, talk to a professional counselor, or even police or child protective services. Don’t speak poorly about each other in front of the children. During a divorce, emotions run high and we tend to see the ugliest parts of our spouse, friends and family as the stress of the break up causes people to lose objectivity. Keep friends around who you can vent to, or use a therapist, rather than your children. Don’t drag your spouse’s name through the mud in front of them, as that is their other parent who they have a relationship with too. Children tend to polarize parents and feel they have to pick a side. Talk to them about their feelings and explain that no one is to blame and that as adults, it is your responsibility to work things out and the kids don’t need to choose a side and no one feels less loved because of the divorce. Use a therapist both individually and as a family if needed. Put differences aside. Arguing in front of kids and creating conflict is what is most damaging about a marriage and a divorce. Put your differences aside as they pertain to your relationship with your spouse and focus instead on the type of adult you are raising your child to be. A focus on the future helps put issues into perspective, and away from your child’s earshot, until the time is right to discuss certain matters in an intentional and objective way.   With over 20 years of experience, Simon Law Group is one of Phoenix’s premier divorce attorneys. If you are considering divorce with children, or are needing help with matters involving family law, we would like to earn your trust and support you through this transitional time. Call 480-745-2450 today for your free consultation, and remember, Experience Matters!  ]]>